It Was Never Punishment
by Ozzyols
Summary: What did Vance say to Tony when he got back from the USS Seahawk?  What was he real reasons for sending Tony out there if not to punish him for Jenny's death?  This is my take on why Tony became Agent Afloat.


**This one-shot is a take I have on Vance's reasons for sending Tony to the USS Ronald Regan and Seahawk at the beginning of Season 6. It is designed to slot immediately before the final squad-room scene in 6.02 Agent Afloat. There are also allusions to season 8's Enemies Foreign & Domestic. Reviews and feedback always appreciated!**

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><p>The intercom on his desk buzzed.<p>

"Agent DiNozzo to see you Director." The polite voice of his personal assistant announced through the speaker.

"Thank you Pamela, please send him in."

NCIS Director Leon Vance lowered the case file he was reading and adjusted his jacket and set his face into an even, flat expression.

The steel grey door to the outer office swung inward granted Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo access.

The agent's expression could easily have been a match for his own, each man guarding their emotions carefully waiting for the other to flinch first.

Four and a half months earlier DiNozzo had stood in front of him as he pronounced judgement on Gibb's team. The hatred that had radiated off the man as Vance announced his assignment to the USS Ronald Regan was palpable; in spite of which Vance was surprised to find his orders accepted without question or hesitation. Whether this was done in deference to his Team Leader, or defiance of Vance who was half expecting an outburst at the least, a resignation at the most, Leon didn't know. The detached, almost indifferent, attitude that had permeated their last meeting lingered even now. But even the famous DiNozzo front couldn't quite hide a quiet skittishness that seemed to lurk deep within him.

Vance wanted to smile but knew it would give away too much. DiNozzo was a good investigator; Gibbs was right on that fact. He was an unmitigated pain in the ass, but he was a damn good investigator. Four months of reports from the Agent Afloat had proven that. Being the only Cop in a floating city of 5000 could stretch a man – test his will, and so far DiNozzo had held his own. But that was certainly not enough reason to justify DiNozzo's return to DC on a permanent basis. There were too many issues unresolved.

"Director."

The greeting was polite, yet reserved. Vance narrowed his eyes slightly. DiNozzo's future hinged on this meeting – both men knew it – and there was no way that Anthony DiNozzo was going to blow it by a Probie error like displaying any disrespect to the chain of command.

"DiNozzo. Good flight?" The helio bringing Gibb's, David, Tony and Tony's prisoner Henley the final leg of their journey from the USS Seahawk had touched down from Anacostia twenty minutes earlier.

"Sure, hundreds of miles escorting a prisoner in a C-130 is always convivial." Tony replied wryly.

"I can have you booked on the one going the other way at 0330 tonight DiNozzo." Vance arched an eyebrow.

The Director could see Tony's jaw working as the Agent bit back the caustic reply that would be begging to be released. He could almost hear DiNozzo's inner monologue telling him _screw the chain of command!_

Blinking momentarily and drawing in several deep, yet subtle, breathes Tony licked his lips and found his voice again.

"You wanted to see me Director."

Round one to DiNozzo. "Yes." Opening his desk draw Leon pulled out a slim folder and stood up and walked out from behind his desk. "Agent Gibbs seems to think that his team needs you." Vance opened the file and sat down at the conference table, indicating for Tony to do the same. "What are your feelings?" he said, deliberately not looking up from the file in front of him

Tony's heart did a small somersault. What were his feelings? _Oh… On edge, anxious, restless, apprehensive, on tenterhooks, praying for a miracle… take your pick_. He'd had 131 days of floating purgatory and he would do anything to get himself reassigned to the home office. But he couldn't tell Vance that. Leon Vance, the reason he was Agent Adrift in the first place. No, Director Vance, the man who had been chosen to replace Jenny after he'd… he paused, a familiar lingering pain niggling at his heart, …after she died… If he didn't think it would be beyond mortifying and give Vance far too much pleasure, he would happily throw himself on the ground and beg to be let back to his team. Instead he settled on dispassionate gratitude.

"It's nice to know the Boss wants me back."

"Mmm-hmm?" the Director's response dripped with scepticism.

"I mean, who doesn't want to feel wanted."

"And you don't feel wanted?" Vance probed

Crap! He'd walked into that one. "Oh sure, I feel wanted." On this assignment, he felt about as wanted as a venereal disease.

"So you're happy with your current posting then?"

Tony thought quickly, his sleep starved synapses trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't get his name permanently etched into the bulkhead above his bunk on the Seahawk.

"Happy is such a ambiguous word."

"Is it?" Vance was clearly not impressed.

Tony felt his anger rising, If glossing the issue wasn't going to work, maybe tackling it head on would.

"What do you want from me Director? I did what you wanted. You broke up Gibbs team so you could dig out the traitor; and good move, it worked. And now things are back to normal, you've dragged McGee out of geekdom heaven, and even rubbed enough brass in Tel Aviv to get Ziva reassigned as Mossad liaison, but you've had me floating around like the Mary Celeste for the past four and a half months. And I'm betting if Gibbs hadn't given me the collar of Henley to ride back to DC, I'd still be coolin' my heels on the USS Scuttlebutt!"

Vance's eyebrows lifted casually as the now irate agent leapt to his feet and started to pace as he continued his tirade.

"I get it, I screwed up in California. I was the lead agent and I left my Director outgunned and alone in a flea-bitten diner smack-dab between Dusthole and Hickville!" Tony held up his hand to forestall Vance interrupting. "Yeah I know, Mike Franks was there too, but that's not the point is it Director? I should have been the one out there, not him. I should have been the one watching Jenny's back. But no, I was too damn busy having a day off and ignoring what my gut was telling me! WWGD – what would Gibbs do? A hell of a lot better than I did! So in answer to your question… Am I happy to be Agent Afloat? No. Do I deserve it…?" The fire and energy of his diatribe seemed to suddenly cease in one short moment leaving him totally spent. "…I don't know…"

Gripping the back of the conference chair like a vice and trying to steady his breathing, Tony eyed his Director who regarded him with the same flat emotionless expression. Damn did nothing faze this guy?

Vance considered his options. "DiNozzo, do believe I'd have been better to leave you with Gibbs?" he finally asked

"Yes." Tony responded, forcing his own voice taking on the same tone as the Directors.

"You would have worked under Gibbs, the man who trained Director Shepherd, knowing that you could have prevented her death?"

Tony swallowed, hard. "Y...yes."

"You would have just accepted me as the new Director knowing that I had just scattered the rest of your team to the four winds?"

Tony's mind raced, where was this going? "Yes."

"And all the time understanding that it was your incompetence that caused that very outcome?" Vance's voice rose as he baited the agent.

"No… yes… what?"

"If Jenny hadn't died the team would be together and you wouldn't be in this mess."

Tony bit deeply into the inside of his cheek, not trusting himself to speak without irreparably damaging his life.

"And would you have handled the pressure in the same way you did in Autopsy with Dr Mallards scotch?"

Tony felt his nostrils flaring as he tried to keep hold of his emotions. At one end he wanted nothing more to race over and beat the living snot out of Vance to find out how he knew about his drink in Autopsy, Ziva surely wouldn't have told. At the other end he wanted to deny everything, and somewhere in the middle lay the truth. With legs too rubbery from strain to support him any longer, Tony sank back down into the chair he had vacated.

At the other end of the table Leon Vance steepled his fingers. When he spoke next, his voice had returned to its normal cool cadence.

"DiNozzo, you answer me the next question, and I'll tell you what my decision is. But I need your honest answer. If I had left you in Gibbs team four months ago and you'd had to deal with me in that chair everyday would you have been able to stay sober?"

A recent memory flickered in Tony's mind. Standing with Ziva outside the Coroner's office in Cartagena.

"_You still beating yourself up over Jenny?"_

"_Not as much as I used to."_

"_Drinking?"_

"_Not as much as I used to._

DiNozzo didn't need to speak for Vance to have his answer. The pain-glazed expression on the Agents face was all the Leon needed to see. He'd made the right decision.

Vance let a shrewd smile pull at the edge of his mouth. "That's the reason I made you Agent Afloat DiNozzo. All of us were sorry about Jenny's death, she was a good agent, a good director and a good friend, but none of us blamed ourselves for what happened. You did. If I'd left you here desk bound you would've done things you'd regret for the rest of what would've been a short career.

"You can't know that?" Vance's words stung, but there was truth in them. Could Tony honestly believe that he wouldn't retreat to the age-old tradition of drowning his sorrows to forget? Hell, he'd tried it once already; fortunately for him Ziva was there to stop him.

"Yes, I can." Vance leant forward purposely catching Tony's gaze with his own formidable one. "When you face a screw up so huge that the outcome affects your entire life you have two options. You stand and you fight or you give in. I wanted you fighting." He growled

The intensity behind Vance's declaration caught Tony off guard. What skeletons did Leon Vance have in his closet?

"Your kryptonite would've been the bottle. So I made sure I put you in the one place I knew you'd have to confront Jenny's death, and your role in it, without the chance of booze clouding your judgment. _That _is the only reason I made you Agent Afloat DiNozzo. Now, did my plan work? Or do we need to rethink things?"

For the first time since he'd landed in Anacostia Tony felt a real flicker of hope flare in his chest. He'd been suppressing the excitement of being home down so deep that when the inevitable order that would commit his soul to a watery end came, he wouldn't be surprised… or brutally disappointed.

Tony had to hand it to Vance. His plan had been vicious and brutal but effective. With the exception of the two weeks in Cartagena Tony hadn't seen in inside of an alcoholic drink in four and a half months. Agent Afloat gave you plenty of time to chew things over, get your head on straight. And despite spouting his own self-doubt not two minutes before, Tony knew the truth.

"It did Director." Tony held his head high. "You were right. Gibbs was right. Ziva was right. Jenny made her own choices. I did what I was ordered."

"You can live with that?"

"I don't have to like it, and sure, I wish I'd played it differently, but yeah – I can live with that now."

"Good, In that case, this can wait until tomorrow." Vance closed the file in front of him. "Captain Owen's request for his Agent Afloat back." Tony eyed the file suspiciously. "I'll get personnel to look for someone suitable tomorrow."

It took a moment for Tony to register what he had just heard. The metaphysical head slap his brain gave to the rest of him matched anything Gibbs ever had.

"You mean?"

"Effective immediately I am reassigning you back to the MCRT here in DC under Gibbs." The naked look of joy on DiNozzo's face was almost embarrassing to Vance. He'd known how close Gibbs' team was from his brief time acting while Jenny had been on leave. Now it appeared he was going to get to experience first hand. God help them all! "Now, get out of my office, it's late and I'm still expecting your boss!"

As if to signal the end of the meeting, the phone of Vance's desk chose that exact moment to ring. Tony clapped his hands together and rubbed enthusiastically as he stood up to leave. As Tony reached for the doorhandle, Vance called his name.

"DiNozzo."

Turning to face the Director, Tony felt his heart pause for a split second. Had he imagined it? Vance had moved back over to his desk, his hand clasped over the phone receiver.

"It wasn't punishment." Turning away from the Tony, the Senior Field Agent heard the Director murmur. "Yeah, I should be leaving here in the next half hour, just got some housekeeping to do."

Closing the door gently Tony moved out onto the mezzanine level. Looking down over the semi lit squad room; he took a deep, cleansing, breath and sighed. Down and to his right the movement of Ziva and McGee around the probie's desk caught his eye. A thousand watt grin manifested itself on his face as he started down the stairs towards his friends, his family… he was home at last!


End file.
